7.06.2008

Coffee

There are a lot of different ways to make coffee.

At the bottom of the list is instant coffee. It should only be used in circumstances where you really don't have time to make real coffee, or in an office where there are no other options. Coming in at around the same level is instant coffee that comes from a machine. Neither of these options is good, but are acceptable in some situations. Make sure that you get a cup that is more than four ounces because typically in these situations, the owner of the coffee is so cheap they can't afford to give you a real cup. The cups are so small and the coffee is so hot and diluted that you might think you are just drinking hot brown water.

The next way is the coffee machine. This is a much better way of producing coffee, but it has it's downfalls. It takes a lot of time to brew a whole pot. If you are lucky enough to live alone, the first cup can be taken before the full pot is brewed and it is awesome. That first cup is so good because it is the first to hit the coffee grounds and isn't diluted like the rest of the pot is. If you happen to live with people, try to steal the first cup before anyone notices. Also, if you live with people, try to make the coffee with as much grounds as you can without having the pot overflow and spill boiling water and coffee grounds all over your kitchen.

Coming in just after that is the industrial/restaurant coffee maker. These are better because the water is heated already and takes far less time to brew a pot. If the wrong person is making it, or if you are getting it at a restaurant, the coffee can be weak. The wrong person is any waitress that is sitting behind the counter drinking coffee and smoking as if she doesn't actually work there. She will most likely grind many pounds of coffee at a time, put it into filters, and stack them near the coffee maker. Be aware of this coffee as it will most likely taste bitter. If the proper person makes it, you end up with Riley Coffee. This coffee can be difficult to drink due to its nature as both a solid and a liquid. However, it is really good coffee and even the last cup out of the pot actually tastes like coffee.

The final two ways of making coffee are relatively equal and can be equally as good depending on what kind of coffee you want.

The press is awesome. It can be made quickly as you can heat water in a percolator. There is little risk of diluted coffee as you can add grounds if totally necessary. The only problem with this method is that if you don't grind the coffee right, you end up with actual solids in your cup. Who wants that? Another large issue with this method is that the coffee gets cold quickly so it is best, if you live alone, to only make enough for two cups at a time. You are also really limited by the amount you can make with this method, so if you were having a dinner party, it could take you 30 minutes to make enough coffee for everyone, and by then the first cups would be cold and this could upset your guests, sending them into a furious rage.

Finally, espresso. This is really for the super pretentious. Though it tastes good, it takes time to learn to do and even when you know how to do it, you look like a jerk going over to your espresso machine and making tiny cups of coffee an ounce at a time.