8.25.2008

A Guide to the Internets

I wrote this for The Vast Minority many years ago:

Making sure one is connected to the correct internet can be a hassle in the day and age where we have gone beyond common logic and introduced multiple internets. This is intended to be a simple guide to walk even the most basic user through connecting to Internet 2, commonly referred to as the Information Superjetway.

Follow these simple instructions for an easy connection to Internet 2:

1. You must download a new browser. Current browsers used for Internet 1 will not work for internet 2(i.e. Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox).

a. If you enjoyed Netscape and were disappointed when it was not longer available, you will be happy to know that it is back for internet 2.

b. If you don’t want to use Netscape, you can use Internet Re-explorer or Microsoft Internet Expedition.

c. Microsoft is also working on Internet Excursion for release when internet 3 is introduced.

2. You can only connect to Internet 2 if you have a broadband connection. This has to do with the vast amounts of megabytes used to produce each page.

a. Switch the cable that you are using. CAT 5 cables used to connect to internet 2 must be orange. Blue and other colors won’t work.

b. If you try to connect using a dial-up connection, you computer will automatically be infected with a virus produced by internet 2 founders.

3. “Surfing” internet 2 you must remember that you no longer type ‘www’. Instead the founders went with the acronym ‘uit’, which must be typed prior to any address.

a. uit stands for universal internet technologies

b. One no longer needs anything similar to .com as internet 2 addresses all end in .rub.

No technology exists at the moment to be connected to both internet 1 and internet 2 at the same time. Keep in mind that this is a basic users guide and is not meant to be used by intermediately skilled people.

We at The Vast Minority want everyone to have a pleasurable experience on internet 2. We hope that this brief tutorial will get you up and running and ready to explore new and interesting uit sites. In a day and ages when multiple internets exist, shouldn’t we all be internetting?

*for a guide to Internet 1, the information superhighway click here